This race was fought out by thirteen WS Racers taking on a fierce 15 knot NNE wind gusting up to 20 knots. The air temperature was lower than it has been so far this autumn and fortunately everyone was appropriately dressed so that they could concentrate on getting their dinghies around the course as quickly as possible. The course started at the western end of the lake between Mark A and a distance mark, followed by a tough beat directly into the wind up to and rounding Mark D to port, to start the first downwind leg across to Mark C which had to be gybed round to head for the downwind Mark A.

An interesting Race Report has been provided by The Trustee in the Comments below and here are some photos taken – one might think given the size of his equipment – by a prize winning photographer, recording the excitement of the day and below them is the final result of the race and below that is the schematic showing each Racer’s progress made during the race.

WS Racing Summer Series Race 10

1. Mike Blatchford; 2. Kim Sparkes; 3. Phil and James; 4. Peter Gregory; 5. Malcolm Hill and Bob; 6. David Mason; 7. Steve Farmer; 8. Mark Cayzer and Mike; 9. Brian Mac; 10. Fay Watson and Charles; 11. Bill Garry. Andy Wallace and Peter Wagner did not finish.

The forecast was for a very wet and windy day, in fact so much so that general sailing was cancelled for the day and only racing was planned to go ahead.
But despite the mornings foul weather, 7 hardy (or is that foolhardy? Ed.) racers turned up to race, and their keenness was rewarded, as the forecast for the afternoon (no more rain and less wind) was totally accurate.

As he wasn’t in attendance, we don’t have the usual ‘riveting’ report from our regular race journalist. So unfortunately this weeks report is much shorter. But I do have 2 incidents from the race start, that I feel worthy of comment…

To set the scene; with the wind coming from the west, the start line was set between the 303 pontoon and mark K.
1). With just seconds to go until their start, 2 of the Liberty’s (who’s helmsmen will remain unnamed!) were heading at speed towards the pontoon end of the line…(where the race control boat was slowly backing away, into the small gap between the 2 pontoons!!. Ed). Realising that he was too early for his start time, the Liberty nearest the line decided to gybe around, forcing the leeward boat to also gybe in order to avoid a collision.
Note to the helm: One of the rules of sailing, is that, with 2 boats on the same tack, the windward boat is the give way boat. So next time, tack instead of gybing, then drop back over the line and start.

2). At the other end of the start line, a late starting single-handed 303 (sailed by a volunteer) on starboard tack, was aiming to cut just inside of mark K. Unfortunately one of the Liberty’s, manoeuvring around waiting for his start time, was also heading towards mark K, on port tack, so on a collision course!! The 303 had to take avoiding action by tacking, which meant totally missing the start line.
Note to the Liberty helm: The first rule for when boats meet is that Starboard tack has right of way!!

Anyway, on to the results, which were:
1. Kim Sparkes; 2. eter Gregory; 3. Peter Wagner; 4. Fay Watson; 5. Mike Blatchford; 6. Paul; 7. Bill Garry;

It was good to be back on the water at Chipstead but feeling slightly tired after watching lots of late night/early morning TV of what was has been an incredible Rio 2016 Paralympics. Team GB having broken through 100 medals today!! An amazing performance by all the 4000+ competitors and their supporters which will create a marvellous legacy of inclusivity and accessibility in Brazil and throughout both South and North America. STOP PRESS: If you haven’t seen it, do watch a recording of the final of the Men’s Doubles Wheelchair Tennis, just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

Whilst we had lots of hot sunshine today, Wind Guru’s forecast for Chipstead –  which I checked just before leaving home – turned out to be rather optimistic.  At 9am there was a reasonable NE breeze but it soon  dropped and veered around, first to the East by the start of  race at 11.30 and  then weakened further and veered to the South during the after lunch session. This meant that, throughout the day, every sailor had to put in a lot of work to make the best of what little wind there was – and if possible try to anticipate shifts or at least react to the shifts quickly enough to keep their boats moving. Very tough conditions, requiring patience and concentration as can be seen from the following gallery…

But 13  WS Racers (plus a ringer in a spare 2.4) were prepared to take on these conditions and our special reporter was there…let’s read what he made of what went on….

Farmer has returned from terrorising Mexico and the two of us set out on time from sunny Orpington. We had a number of things to catch up on including the corruption scandal, dark side editing, drug testing, Russian military weapons and, last but not least, Captain Bligh’s birthday celebration. I never mentioned it to Farmer but I had hoped he would bring me back a sombrero; it would have been useful today. On arrival at Chipstead, I was frisked down by an over eager Trustee in a very smart, jaune (yellow) outfit. Whilst it was good to feel that our safety came premiere, I couldn’t help noticing that some clients were excluded from the frisking, whilst others got two goes! (What’s that all about? Ed.)

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the Red Torpedo being readied. I couldn’t see any obvious signs of mechanical devices or salt water mammals, but more on that later. The usual suspects had gathered and were busy discussing how to sabotage each other. Mike Blatchford admitted he had lead me astray about the spinnaker on Kermit, but assured me I should try the one on the Martin. “Yeah right Mike. Think I am silly enough to look, huh?” Bligh was there, looking for her latest Fletcher Christian, and Fay arrived in good voice just in time to berate me for my last blogg. 

As we made our way down to the pontoon, you could have cut the tension with a knife. I was first up and yet again Kermit was offered up for the third time in succession. I could sense a number of volunteers smiling at me  (and each other) with the benefit of insider knowledge. Hmmm, I thought, the dark-side editor and one or two others have probably placed discreet holes in some of the peppermint rockets  water-tight compartments. No doubt hoping I would do a Leonardo  DiCaprio, a la Titanic. Therefore I did something galant ….  “Steve why don’t you have a go in the famous Kermit. She always wins”. Roughly translated, that means “Sucker, hope you can swim!” Next up was Keelover (previously known as McKee Lover). She looked to be a sound beast, so off we went.

As I started to go about my business on the water, three strange events occurred:  1) Kim appeared out of the reeds in The Red Rocket. Now the Rocket has been hidden for the past few weeks and, given Kermit’s demise (sabotage), the RR is definitely the number one boat. I tried my very best not to say anything but I just blurted out: “How are you feeling Kim?”. “Terrible !” she replied. That was that then, I thought: the Red Torpedo back in the lake and Kim feeling terrible. There was absolutely no doubt that Fay was already relaying this latest information to Karen to restate the odds for their betting scoop. 2) The Red Torpedo shot past me and I couldn’t help noticing its skipper was looking very relaxed and listening to the theme tune (da-dah, da-dah. etc) from Jaws. Though so very hard to believe, I keep coming back to the dolphin theory to explain the Red Torpedo’s extraordinary turn of speed (even when there is NO WIND!). Its skipper was almost asleep as the Torpedo tacked back and forth with no obvious sign of effort. 3) A short while later another 2.4 shot by me – with the dark-side editor at the helm!  (The ringer. Ed.) I looked again at him and began to wonder how a human being could fit in a 2.4? I came to the conclusion that the helm’s legs must be dangling through the bottom of the boat and he was either running along Fred Flintstone style or just riding on the back of a dolphin. This would explain the speed he was travelling at and why he looked so sweaty.

Anyway enough of these theories and back to the race. Bligh set off at a reasonable pace, followed 5 minutes later by a number of double handed 303’s. I guess the double handed 303’s get the extra minute because of the extra weight. Hang on a moment I thought what about us solo helms who are a pound or two overweight, such as Farmer and yours truly. Surely we should get some sort of weight allowance? (Is this an official request? Ed.) Anyway, off we went and I found myself following Kim and Mark C (and his crew, James) on a starboard tack, while the majority of vessels were heading the other way. The order of the day seemed to be multiple shorter tacks and by the time I reached the windward Mark D, I was in third place behind Bligh and Kim!! Unfortunately the wind was non-existent as I was trying to round Mark D and a number of dinghies, myself included, just floated around struggling for wind-power to give them some direction. By now I was expecting to come across the wreckage of Kermit and wondered if I would offer Steve assistance. A bit like the Carpathian steaming to aid the Titanic… “nah let him sink, I think he can swim.”

Eventually a very laid back Skipper Gregory flew past, but no sign of Fred Flintstone and David Mason in the 2.4s or Mike Blatchford in his spinnaker-powered Martin.

As we rounded Mark B on the second lap, I was surprised to see Brian, seemingly at anchor, enjoying the sunshine. The Red Torpedo was long gone, Kim and Bligh remained just within sight and, with a good wind, I felt I had a chance of  finishing with the leaders. Suddenly, I realised my fears that Keelover had been got at were spot-on. She refused to steer to port, I know not why, and one by one a number of other Racers sailed by, leaving me slipping back towards a mid-fleet finish. Arrrh.

But once again I found myself in position to be first back to the pontoon. When suddenly Kim came hurtling in desperate for the loo. I gallantly (Again? Ed.) stood aside, to ensure I wasn’t rammed by her boat. Sorry to mention this Kim, but it is relevant. An imaginative thought popped into my head at this time. I would like to propose that in future, races are extended by 10 minutes, with pit stops allowed. This would make our races more akin to F1 Grand Prix racing (and might give me a chance)!! (Is this another official request – for the rules to be bent in your favour? Ed.)

I didn’t see the final results (See below. Ed.) but I suspect normal service was resumed. It then dawned on me that I forgot about Farmer, who was probably at the bottom of Davy Jones Locker. I realised that I would have the difficult task of breaking the news to his friend (that’s me) and family. But even worse, I didn’t know where he had put my lunch-box. Fortunately (for me) Kermit limped home and Farmer declared he was still on holiday.

Being first on the pontoon, I was happy to assist a number of vessels to come alongside. I think Fay showed how much she enjoys sailing because, having half-left her vessel, she changed her mind and sat down again. Only kidding Fay, I hope the bruise isn’t too big.

A good crowd of clients and volunteers gathered afterwards  on the patio and lawn outside the clubhouse and, after singing Happy Birthday to Ann, were treated to cake and sparkling wine to  toast Ann on her 80th birthday. A nice occasion for a very special lady!! (Well said, Bob – and here’s a reminder. Ed.)

In summary a beautiful day with interesting wind conditions.  As always many thanks to the volunteers who not only ensure our safety (excluding Kermit) but also have a great sense of humour.

It was truly a great occasion being able to mark Ann’s significant anniversary. And to recognise her not just for being a very good sailor but also an accomplished painter and a published author – as well as a genial and generous human being!

Final Result: 1. Peter G; 2. Mike B; 3. Kim; 4. Paul/Peter; 5. Ann; 6. Fay/Douglas; 7. Bob; 8. Stewart/Tony; 9. Brian Mac; 10. David Mason; 11. Mark/James; 12. Steve; 13. Andy.  

Recognising from previous posts that the motor boat sees very little of the real action in the race our Fleet Reporter (soon to retire) has kindly provided his view of the race. Here it is:

What a nice day for sailing, plenty of sunshine and a steady breeze looked  to provide for a good days racing.  Today was the Autumn Equinox, it was a day of boat fixing, unexpected alliances, sabotage, dodgy pit crews and Tarantulas.   It was also a day of excuses and most importantly of all Panini’s

The day started with Farmer pulling “my daughter is at the dentist” excuse.  Now in fairness to Steve he has beautiful  twin daughters.  But this is the 22nd time he has used the daughter at the dentist excuse (henceforth known as excuse number 22)  this season.  To anyone believing this excuse is genuine, it may be a good time to invest in Dentistry shares.  But more excuses later.

I noticed that Le phantom friskier had arrived late, so anyone who had turned up expecting a pat down were sorely disappointed.

Having made my way down to the dock, I was confronted by Dai and two unknown volunteers wearing matching cowboy hats who clearly did not understand the murky underworld they were letting themselves in for. Steve slipped over quietly and whispered to me that Kermit had been ‘fixed up for me’ and was ready to race. More observant bystanders noted that said vessel was in fact still on the hard (to quote a nautical term). Dai looked on in horror as The two Cowboys led me to an insipid craft called ‘This way up’ or something along those lines. Despite winking at them etc, no attempt was made to pass me any contraband, oars, outboards, etc. What a waste of £3 I thought to myself.  As the mediocre craft slid out into the lakes two sounds caught my attention. I could clearly  hear the two Cowboys shouting Die Die (editors note, we suspect they were saying Dai). Secondly I could hear Fay telling Karen that Bob had been ” tucked up”, and to adjust the odds accordingly.

Shortly afterwards I was approached by a very fidgety Mike Blatchford who appeared to be sitting on a nest of ants.  “Take a look at the other Martin” Mike advised me.  I looked across at the other Martin and spotted the unlikely alliance of Andy (ram anyone who gets in the way) with none other than the Northern Cardinal himself, Peter Gregory.   In the past we have had such great partnerships as Rodgers and Hammerstein, Morecombe and Wise and the Krankies.  This partnership however struck me as more like Delboy and Rodney, it was either doomed to failure or this time next year they will be millionaires.

True to form Kim came sliding out of the reeds in none other than the Red Rocket, which is strangely absent each time I approach the dock. I had strategically placed sellotape on my lips so I wouldn’t ask how Kim was feeling.  Once again the gentlemen within me took control and I spluttered through a mouthful of sellotape ” how are you Kim”.  “Terrible, worse than ever” Kim replied. William Hill and Ladbrokes immediately cut their odds from five to 2 to evens favourite, but strong money was also being placed on the fools and horses duo.  Mike Blatchford however now appeared to be attempting to abandon ship and had rapidly gone out to 20 to one, very good odds for a previous course and distance winner. With all this activity taking place, the two evil 2.4’s were also looking good value for money.

As usual the normal game of Chinese whispers was taking place at the start.  Was it D,A,C  or C, A, D. At this stage I always feel  a little sorry for Mark C  ( the person not the buoy). Many a time I have seen him and his crew set off followed by a small  flotilla who misunderstood  the Mark C connection.

As Usual Bligh set off in the Bounty and took a huge starboard tack.  The double handed 303’s were next and most made a good start.  Finally it was our turn and my insipid craft went off like a rocket, leaving Kim and the well fancied Red Rocket in my wake. It is now that sadly I have to report two very unsporting moments that clearly affected the race result. I could almost sense the victory line (O K we had just started), when I heard the unmistakable screaming of a woman in distress. It was clearly Kim and judging by the noise of her screams she had either lost a limb in an accident or was clearly in need of an ambulance for some other disaster. I tried to signal the control boat to dial 999 and call out the coastguard, but they were busy sunbathing (OK l exaggerate a little). I have to admit I was torn, this was my chance to leave Kim miles behind, but my conscience got the better of me and several other vessels who scrambled to the clearly stricken Kim. I had by this time built up an unassailable lead (OK it was 10 foot) and had to choose between Kim’s life and victory.  It was a hard decision to make, but then I remembered Kim telling me that her cat had once saved her life and was her hero. So it was a straight decision, victory or hero? The thought of appearing on the news proved too much and the insipid one diverted course on a rescue mission. As I crossed the huge 10 foot gap between us, I could just distinguish what she was yelling like a drunken banshee ” SPIDER, SPIDER”. Hmm I thought as I swung around once again, “wonder where the other one is”. Of course by now Kim had regained her composure and shot by while I retrieved my anchor.

As I tracked down Kim bent on revenge a second dodgy event occurred. I could see Kim calling over the control boat and pointing at the insipid one. The control boat then swung over to me and informed me that my outrider was miss functioning. How could I possibly have a faulty outrider when I didn’t even know I had one. Anyway suffice to say I was in the pits for what seemed like 15 minutes and I couldn’t help notice a very happy looking Kim as she disappeared over the horizon.  Never mind I thought the 2nd tarantula is yet to make his debut..

The insipid one continued to punch well above its weight and as the half hour mark approached, none of the faster craft from the posh dock had passed me. I was busy shouting at the race officials pointing at my watch when suddenly the Trotters shot by, closely followed by David in one  of the evil 2.4’s.   But Mike fidgety Blatchford and Peter in the other evil 2.4 remained behind.

Suddenly the wind dropped off and I was able to consolidate a mid table finish, comfortable in the knowledge that if it hadn’t been for some outrageous match fixing, it would have been an entirely different finish.

Mike Blatchford approached me at the end and claimed he had been sabotaged by a broken seat in the Martin (excuse number 34) and Peter in the 2.4 was claiming lack of practise having not attended for a few weeks.

Pippa was able to confirm that Jimmy’s training was going well, although he appeared to be helping himself to her lunch when she looked the other way.  An added bonus was the hot Panini’s being served, which I can confirm were very good and well received.

The standard of sailing is definitely improving and I tip my cap ( if I had one) to the double handed crews including Fay, Mark C and Daljit, who left me miles behind.

Despite, sabotage, shady goings on and arachnids, another very enjoyable day at Chipstead.  Many thanks to all the volunteers , including the Cowboys, Dai, and the dodgy pit crew.

Final positions were:

1. Sanjit Sandhu; 2.Kim Sparkes; 3. Mark Cayzer; 4. David Mason; 5. Andy Wallace; 6. Bob Fisher; 7. Peter Wagner; 8. Ann Frewer; 9. Malcolm Hill; 10. Fay Watson; 11. Mike Blatchford.